Last night I officiated my best friend’s wedding ceremony, and I figured I’d post the script in case anyone else is doing a gay, secular event and wants to see an example script. I read a few online and they were helpful for me in putting this together.

Obviously the Buffy the Vampire Slayer references and inside jokes aren’t applicable to the average person, but you get the idea. I also changed everyone’s names.  

Opening address

Hi everyone. Thank you for coming here to celebrate the marriage of John and Scott. I know that a lot of you traveled from far distances to be here, and the couple really appreciates it.

I’m Sarah, and I have been friends with John and Scott for a long time. I’m proud to say that John has been my best friend since we met in a Psychology class as sophomores at University College.

But to tell you the truth, I had already known who John was before officially meeting him that day. Those of you who know John also that he stands out: he has the kind of personality and charm that draws you in and that you want to be around. So I had sort of admired him from afar on campus, in a non-stalkery way, and wanted to be friends with him…and he was even better in person than I had hoped.

John is the most selfless person I know. He’s an amazing listener with a hilarious sense of humor, and he’s brilliant.

Fast forward a few years to John  meeting Scott. From the first time John told me about this new relationship, I knew it was special. And when I met Scott, I saw it for myself. They already had this ease around each other that few couples ever reach, even after being together for years. They complement each other perfectly. They’re respectful of each other’s differences and appreciative of their similarities, which is an important balance in a relationship. For example, John loves superheroes but they aren’t Scott’s thing, yet they’ll marathon hours of Buffy the Vampire Slayer together. THAT is what true love is.

Scott is kind, caring, and genuine with a creative side that shows itself in his talents for things like baking and learning new languages, and he’s incredibly supportive and devoted to John. I think a lot of us have experienced firsthand how John can be a support system to so many people–it’s essentially his job as a psychiatrist now–but Scott is John’s personal support system, and it’s clear that he always will be.

When I was writing this speech, I took the liberty of viewing John and Scott’s relationship page on Facebook, which is a creepy thing the social network does to let you see every single interaction that two people have had since they made it Facebook Official. Yes. As you can imagine, there’s a lot of stuff that I will not be repeating in front of all of you today. And as I waded through the references to Tyra Banks and RuPaul’s Drag Race and Scott’s random Italian phrases and photos of macarons, I put together a little timeline of some relationship tidbits for you all. Sorry in advance guys for any embarrassment:

  • They said their first “I love you” on December 19, 2008, which is just under 6 years ago today
  • In October 2009, Scott wrote to John: “You’re asleep in the bedroom right now and I figured I’d write on your wall. I just wanted to say how absolutely wonderful you are and I could not imagine myself without you. I love all aspects of you, if there were a number for how much I love you, it would be the number of times you’ve sneezed in your life. Yes, that much!” For those of you who don’t know, when John sneezes, it’s like 12 times.
  • May 18, 2010: Scott and John’s son Truffles, an English bulldog, was born
  • On October 6, 2011, John had a nightmare that Scott ate the last pop tart
  • August 31, 2012: John posed the following serious question to Scott about the Harry Potter universe: “If Truffles were a Death Eater, do you think he would go by Lord Foldemort or Severus Snork?”
  • May 17, 2012: John posted “Last night, when falling asleep, Scott and I had a legit conversation about which is more high fashion: a palm tree or a battery. I think it’s obvious the answer is palm tree, right?”
  • On Scott’s birthday in 2013, John wrote “Happy Birthday, boo-boo honey bear sugar lamb.”
  • And on August 23, 2013, they got engaged

So I guess those are all the important milestones, then.

John and Scott are getting married today, but they’ve kind of acted like a 50 year-old married couple since they’ve started dating. And I say that as a compliment with the best intentions, and they’ll openly say it too. Actually, they way they’ll put it is that they’re a couple of old ladies who go to bed at 9 PM. It’s a good thing that they feel so comfortable around each other, so supported, that it’s like they’ve been together forever. Each of them knows exactly who the other is and loves him for exactly those qualities. It sounds cliche to say it, but they really are a perfect match.

I am honored not only to speak about them at their wedding today, but to have spent so many hours with them trying to find caves from graphic novels and attacking each other in Super Smash Brothers and having detailed analyses of drag queen reality show competitions and just being ourselves. And it’s particularly significant that we’re in a time and a place where couples like John and Scott can finally recognize their relationship in a traditional way.

Congratulations to both of your families as you become one big family through this union, and congratulations to you both on your wedding. You deserve the utmost happiness and love, and I’m so happy that you’ve found it in each other.

Quote reading

Now we’ll hear a reading from Sophie, a close friend of the grooms.

Sophie reads quote 

In memorium

Thanks, Sophie. At this time, John and Scott would like to recognize all of the relatives, friends, and loved ones who have passed and could not be here to celebrate with us today. In particular, Scott’s father Aaron Smith and John’s father Bob Jones, who passed away a little over a month ago. Let’s take a moment of silence to remember them.

Moment of silence 15-30 seconds

Thank you.

Vow exchange

 Before you declare your vows to each other, let’s confirm that it’s your intention to be married here today.

Scott, do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to John in marriage? If so, answer “I do.”

I do

John, do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to Scott in marriage? If so, answer “I do.”

I do

Now John and Scott will exchange vows, which they chose to write themselves. These vows will highlight not only the ways in which they grew to care about each other and the love they have for each other now, but the ways in which they promise to love and support each other in the future, for the rest of their lives.

Scott, please read the vows you’ve written for John.

Scott reads

John, please read the vows you’ve written for Scott.

Scott reads

Ring exchange

I’m going to bring the rings forward. Your wedding rings symbolize your love, devotion, and connection to each other. They’re a visible memento you keep with you to signify your commitment and display it to others.

Scott, please place the ring on John’s finger and repeat after me:

John, I offer this ring to you

as a symbol of my love

and of the vows I have just spoken

and with it, I join my life to yours.

John, please place the ring on Scott’s finger and repeat after me:

Scott, I offer this ring to you

as a symbol of my love

and of the vows I have just spoken

and with it, I join my life to yours.

Pronouncement

It has been my honor to officiate your ceremony this evening. And now I get to say something you’ve been looking forward to hearing for a long time: I now pronounce you married. You may kiss your husband.