instagram commentsI’m pretty new to Instagram (I avoided it for privacy reasons), but two things are clear now that I’m here:

1. It’s fascinating; and

2. People leave creepy, desperate comments on celebrity photos.

Every time a celebrity posts something, there’s a string of horrible comments under it. Sure, obnoxious Internet comments are nothing new, but many of the Instagram comments have the same pathetic, fame-obsessed quality.

Instagram is a variable reward system where the reward is a reply or a follow from the celebrity, and each creepy comment is a press of the Skinner Box button. The commenters are so driven for that one digital interaction from their celeb hero that they’ll publicly embarrass themselves repeatedly to get it.

Here are a few examples of sad, creepy Instagram comments I’ve seen:

Aaron Paul instagram commentsClearly a photo of Aaron Paul’s wife where he captions that he loves her is the ideal place for me to profess MY love for him as well…in six separate comments.


Adrianne Curry instagram commentsNo, I don’t want to stalk you, Adrianne Curry…I just want to give you a present. So send a total stranger your home address. K thx.


Eliza Dushku instagram commentsAlthough everyone who follows you knows that you’re dating Rick Fox and he’s a specimen of a man, let me take this opportunity to ask you out anyway. I’M FROM BOSTON, THOUGH.


James Franco instagram comments 4James. We hung out. I swear we did. It was amazing. I miss your musk. Even though we know each other really well and everything, I’m going to use your public Instagram comments to re-initiate our killer friendship. Call me. Text me. Just contact me in some possible form. Please.


Lady Gaga instagram commentsUm.


Miley Cyrus instagram comments

Miley posts a gummy penis and this person thinks, “Yes…I’m going to use this opportunity to tell her that I drew her.” Also, what’s the call to action here? “Plz” what? BUT IT LOOKS REAL.


James Franco instagram comments 1

So much sad all in a row.


Madonna instagram comments

At least he said “please.”


Miley Cyrus instagram comments 2

Definitely all things you want to make public. Forever.


Rose McGowan instagram comments

“That would be you also very good.”


James Franco instagram comments 2

James Franco’s selfies are LITERALLY KILLING ME.


Angelina Jolie instagram comments

Angelina. Adopt me. It will be very great.


Remember, guys: the Internet–and your cringey Instagram comments–are forever. It’s totally worth it if Miley Cyrus follows you, though.